Real Men Take Out Trash

Posted on October 4, 2010


When I met the woman of my life (now my wife) in 2002 she lived on the 2nd floor of an apartment building. I noticed several things about her immediately and other things took more time.

The more immediate things I noticed was that she was beautiful, joyous, & strong. Not strong like her character, but her strength. I admired that, because I hit the weights pretty hard those days and did not want a dainty woman. Not too long into what became a flourishing relationship I told her 2 things I no longer wanted her to do.

1.  She is to no longer take out the trash.

2. She is no longer to carry her groceries up 2 flights of stairs or no longer able to carry groceries period.

Now don’t get me wrong. I respected her “i am woman….blah…blah…blah….. hear me roar…etc…etc..” and understood that she was doing it before I came along. BUT as a man I felt inclined to take these duties off of her. I knew she was capable because evidently she got along well before I entered her life, but I wanted her to feel catered too. I wanted her to feel more woman. So, I immediately made a distinction between what duties I felt belonged to me. She’s never had to lift anything heavy, do trash or groceries ever since that day.

I am not saying that as a man you should have to take out trash for your significant other. But you should. I personally wanted to establish myself as the man who could take the load off of her so that she could focus on other things. I do understand now that we’re married there are waaaaaaay more things to do beside trash now. I step in when I realize I need too or when asked. I don’t have a hands off approach. She can ask me to vacuum and I will. I won’t lie……I don’t volunteer all the time, but I am a work in progress. So is marriage. Marriage is a work in progress. It should always be. You should always be working on it. It’s kind of like the saying “Standing still is moving backwards”.

In conclusion, I would like to say to all the men out there…… Establish your area in your significant others life so that she can feel more woman. Give her the Me Tarzan…You Jane feel. Not saying this will always be her area of need, but understand that in relationships and especially marriage people grow. Your goal is to grow together and not apart. So, establish your running game (for you guys who love football). Make sure to be prepared to support her in those areas she needs you too and be prepared for change. Because change is a part of life.